Suspected Parkinsons, maybe Poly myalgia Rhumatica, no, how about spinal infection? Just old age? Head x-ray showed dark spot which was probably a stroke. when, who knows. "Dad just keeps getting worse" so Mom called 911 and had him taken to the hospital Wednesday. Visited him Thursday morning, then stopped at my Moms to check in. I didn't want to stop at moms, but figured i'd catch hell if i didn't. I was shaking and upset but she and my bro#2 felt the need to bad mouth my father from top to bottom and side to side. It took ALL i had to stay composed. Then topped it off with the blame game.
He was transferred to another hospital last night.
My heart is shattered, can't stop crying. I must clench my jaw when i'm stressed because, man it hurts!
I love you all, my blogger friends, hope your weekend is full of smiles and sunshine!
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9 comments:
one response i've gotten is.... "this is the testing ground and depending on how well we do or fail determines where we go when we die".
It's not about where we go when we die...
It's about what we do with the challenges that face us in this life.
I'm in my waist high wellies!
Take care and prayers for you, your Dad and your family.
Love
Dale
Cheryl, Im with Dale here. Sorry I've been 'away' a few days. My work is demanding silly hours of me and I'm having a few other problems too, so time for blogdom has been short, but I've been thinking of you.
Your father must be so grateful for your unconditional love. Keep the faith, keep the smile for your dad, and we will be praying for you both.
Focus on your dad Cheryl Ann. And know that he loves you and loves that you are there. While I understand the requirement of stopping by your mom's, I don't honestly recommend you do so more than you have to and keep the visits short short short. Perhaps it is their way of dealing with the pain of it all, but it is not an environment you should let yourself be in too much.
Do a little meditating each day, create a mantra for yourself and repeat it to yourself whenever you feel overwhelmed. Something like, "I am strong, I choose to create peace in my heart and soul, only I have power over myself, I am a good person." You know, all good stuff.
Funny thing about peace. It is not about being somewhere without noise or disruption or chaos. It is being amidst those things and still finding peace in your heart.
You can do it.
You are filled with good Cheryl Ann. Allow yourself tears, but allow also yourself to see what a wonderful person you are, what power you have within, and never let anyone tell you different.
As far as the family goes with the blaming and calling down, in the words of my beloved friend Brett, "Don't wear their shit."
Be well. Breathe deep sweetheart. And believe.
xxx
Stevie
Hi Cheryl Ann,
I hope your father will be OK, I'll pray for him!
Cheryl Ann there's some great advice here, and I too agree with Dale. You do what you do now because it's right, not because it determines some nebulous reward afterwards. Wade on!
This is such a hard time. Focus on your father, and on your own feelings, so that whatever happens in the future you have no regrets.
Cher,
Ginormous {{{{{{HUGS}}}}} for you and your dad. Please don't forget to take care of yourself.
Love and prayers to you.
thank you xo!
Sorry Cheryl my computers been broken but Neil fixed it and I can't believe what I read..the people here have said such wise words..love your dad to the core, thats all you can do for now the rest don't matter..
sending you big warm fluffy huddles..xxx..
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